Light up your life
Stop what you are doing RIGHT NOW and listen up. A technological breakthrough of supreme magnitude has just been bought to my attention. While prep-boys and graduates piffle about with trying to expand the human race’s reach into unknown space there are a select group of Americans dedicated to fixing the problems right here at home. Ever had all your lightbulbs blow in your living room because your fat ass couldn’t reach them to change them? At that precise moment has the worlds fattest man competition started on the other channel on TV? What are you to do? I mean you can’t possibly see the remote to flick the channel right? WRONG! Now you can! You can get this magic little gadget that literally sucker onto the end of said remote and, with the flick of a thumb, illuminate the buttons. I just had to share the good news – I’m off to buy not just the three they offer for an incredible $19.99 (you’d spend more than that in lightbulbs, right? Not to mention the money you’re saving in electricity for some fine, quality, fried chicken meals) but one for each member of my family. That way we need never inconvenience ourselves with electric lighting again!
…Douchbags.
