Wednesday, May 22, 2024
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Worst Movie Posters

With Photoshop comes great power…and with great power comes a horrible abuse of said power.
What we have here are 5 of the worst Photoshop disaster movie posters that I could dig out of the recesses of the internet. Its not a top 5 by any means so the order is irrelevant…they’re all awful in their own rite.

5. All About Steve

I’m pretty sure that if you replaced the umbrella in Sandra Bullocks hand with a machete and put bars between her and the other characters then you’d…still have a shit poster. Where is she looking? And which one is supposed to be Steve? The Aisan guy? Or maybe the umbrella.

4. Bad Lieutenant

Right, I’m not letting you get away with that just because you’re Russian, or whatever (says the ignorant English man)! First off it looks like Cage is holding his gun by the barrel and they have just painted on the bullet opening to hide their mistake. Second of all what has happened to that poor girls body?! Looks like she’s been turned into a mannequin from the neck down. And isn’t her head a tad too large boys? Inexcusable rubbish- any poster that makes it look like a giant Nicolas Cage is crumbling into dust while cops look “not that bothered” in the foreground gets an instant F in my book.

3: The Accidental husband

Surely putting this monstrosity together would have been more effort than actually shooting that shot for real. It wouldn’t have taken five seconds on the set. But no- what we have here is a generic kit of body parts arranged in photoshop to portray this lovely scene. Who approves these things- I mean just look at Thurman’s neck for Christs sake! It looks like shes been wearing a tribal neck piece for 5 years that has stretched and abnormaly thickened it. Look at the awkward stock hand tapping her on the shoulder- then take a look at the other hand attached to his body. now try it yourself- put your arms in those positions and see how natural it seems. Colin Firth Clearly loves a bit of Thurman’s ears because he cant take his eyes off it. But that’s OK, he’s just smitten with a woman that has finally fallen in love with his massive dis-located hands and tiny plastic head.

2: Takers

Taking the piss more like! What is this?! Were NONE of the actors actually available for this shoot? Or were the facial expressions so terrible you resorted to that piss ass poor windows cloud application (you’ve all seen the ad right? If not: SEE IT HERE). Also what kind of lighting genius did they have to achieve that effect on their faces? Check out how one guy has a shadow on the left of his face while the guy standing RIGHT NEXT TO HIM has it on the right! Genius! Thats impressive….and shit. Oh and Hadien christian is in the poster which is the worst thing of all.

1- Over her dead body

You should never, ever,ever,ever have anyone on your promotional poster lying over the title of your film. Especially is that person is clearly NOT the actress that’s in the film. Now I dont know how many of you have seen desperate housewives but that slender lengthy strawberry blond princess on the title is none other than Eva Longoria. Not the tallest of ladies by my recollection. By the looks of this one they’ve taken a still from Desperate housewives and matted the face of Eva’s character on to a barbie doll.

Owner and lord high chancellor of the borough known as quiteenjoy. Loves fishing, hedge trimming, football and none of the above.

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