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The Hylian Loach…13 years in the catching

God damn that took a long time. I mean a really long time. 13 years I’ve been trying to catch that damn fish!
It all started a year or so after ocarina of time came out on the N64. I caught word of a rumoured “Hylian loach” that would some times appear in the fishing pond in Lake Hylia. You could supposedly catch said loach and it would be the heaviest catch in the pond. After many years of trying and spoting what I presumed to be the loach I gave up trying, thinking that it was actually impossible to catch him…
..Well it’s 13 years on. The remake is out for the 3DS…and the internet has proved me wrong. You CAN catch him. Turns out that what I saw all those years ago in the blurry 300 pixel resolution of the N64 WAS the loach. So armed with FACT I set out to catch him. I started on my journey home- on the tube. Reading up that you have to enter the pond at exactly sunrise or sunset (when the sound of the wolf or crow calls) to make the loach appear I tried it out. on the third try (which was a morning crow call) I went in and there he was Lurking at the bottom of the pond…

Fast foward 4 hours later- I have completed my journey home, My wife and Son have gone to bed and I am sitting in the swealtering heat, in my arm chair, trying to catch a digital eel. If I were to analyse this situatioin I’d no doubt find many deep routed pshyciatric flaws so I’m going to do the British thing and Brush past it. I had tried in vain to catch the thing when he was lurking at the bottom of the lake but an hour of that saw that it was fruitless. Then he seemed to make a brake for the edge of the lake. Using the first person view to line up my shot- I took it, and snagged the bait dodging bastard! After a bit of a struggle i reeled the sucker in! And what was my reward?..

A PURPLE RUPPEE?! I got more than that for playing a fecking song to a wood elf! Bloody waste of my time! I could have done something useful like become a doctor…or ate a really nice cake. But at least my endeavour shows that they did keep the legendary loach in the 3DS remake. Whoopie Shit.

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Owner and lord high chancellor of the borough known as quiteenjoy. Loves fishing, hedge trimming, football and none of the above.

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